Key Verse 23, “You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.”
I would like to open up with a love poem from a fiancé to her groom to be:
“Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love. Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”(Song 2:3-7)
How rich and beautiful are these words from a fiancé to her groom to be. This is part of a song found in the Old Testament book, “The Song of Solomon”. In this song, the lovers long for each other in very intimate way. However, as the female lover says, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires". What this means is, love must be allowed to proceed at its proper place, which includes waiting until the right time to consummate it in marriage.
In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses the very problem of sexual impurity. This problem applies to then as well as it applies to us today. Divorce, sex before marriage, adultery, and even gay marriage have become so prevalent in our nation. In chapter 7, Paul tells the Christians that God has given them the gifts of marriage and singleness in order to control this problem. The gift of marriage provides just the right framework within which we may properly enjoy the gift of sexual intimacy. And the gift of singleness provides just the right framework to those who chose to remain single before God. Marriage and singleness are gifts from God. Through them we can struggle to remain pure before God. In this chapter, Paul lays out three ways in which we can do this. First, we should seek satisfaction only in our husbands and wives (1-6, 9). 2nd, we should remain as God called us: Married or single (7-8, 10-19a, 20, 25-28, 36-40). And 3rd, we should remember the price that was paid for our purity (19b, 21-24, 29-35).
Seek Satisfaction Only in our Husbands and Wives (1-6, 9, 39b)
Verse 1 says, “Now for the matters you wrote about.” Paul is addressing some questions that the Corinthians had asked him. Their first question was, “Is it more spiritual to remain single?” Perhaps the Christians in Corinth saw Paul’s unmarried life and thought that was the secret to sexual purity. Just become a monk or a nun and you’ll be okay. Surprisingly, Paul told them that it was good for them not to marry. However, he immediately turns around and says, “But since there is so much immorality” you should marry. Because of the magnitude of immorality that was going on in the city, Paul tells them that there are two things they should do.
First, those who are single and can’t control their desires should marry (2, 9, 39b). Before we begin this part, it’s important to note that Paul is not addressing the complete theology of marriage. Rather, he is addressing one of the purposes for marriage. He says in verse 2, “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.” According to Paul, one purpose for marriage is to avoid fornication, that is sex before marriage. Desires for the opposite sex is not wrong. In Genesis 1:28, we learn that God blessed mankind with the ability to pro-create. In Song of Solomon and Proverbs, romantic intimacy is seen as a gift from God. And in Genesis 1:18, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Again, desires for the opposite sex is not wrong. However, it’s how we go about fulfilling those desires when it becomes wrong.
God’s 7th Commandment says, “You shall not commit adultery.” Jesus adds on to this by saying, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”(Mt 5:27-28) Sexual immorality is so rampant in our nation today. Teenage pregnancy and abortions are growing. Pornography revenue has surpassed all sports revenues combined. Adultery and divorce are on the rise. Television shows and movies are showing things that use to be considered rated R. Even Sesame Street had to pull a very questionable show off of the air.
So what are we to do? Paul says that we should marry. He said, “…each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.” Marriage is a gift from God. It’s not polygamous nor is it meant for the same sex. Rather marriage is for one man and for one woman. The purpose of it is to unite two believers into one (39). Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Marriage is one way to help us not to fall into sexual sin. In fact, Paul says in verse 9 that it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Next, Paul addressed married couples (3-6). Verse 3 says, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” Husband and wives are not exempt from falling into sexual impurity. So Paul addresses them saying, if you’re married, in order to remain sexually pure, don’t abuse sexual love which is a normal part of marriage. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone, but also to her husband. Likewise, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife. Intimacy between a husband and a wife is a beautiful tool in which a marriage can be built on. But it can also be a devastating tool if we neglect it. The only time we should neglect it is when the consent is mutual so that we may spend time in prayer with God. But Paul warns that this time apart should only be brief. The longer we neglect our marital duties, the more likely Satan will come and tempt one of the spouses to fulfill their desires in other ways.
Marriage is a beautiful God of gift that should not be avoided nor neglected. Our nation is falling apart because we’ve forgotten why God ordained marriage for us. Fornication and adultery have become almost a norm. But this is not how God intended us to live. God gave us and blessed us with romantic intimacy. There’s nothing wrong with it. But it’s how we satisfy it when it becomes wrong.
Remain as God Called Us: Married or Single (7-8, 10-19a, 20, 25-28, 36-40)
Verse 10 says, “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.” Why must spouses remain married? Paul says because this is what God commands. Jesus said in Matthew 10:9, “What God has joined together, let man not separate.” Malachi 2:16 says, “’I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel.’” God has joined a husband and a wife together. When they married, they became one flesh. So to divorce would mean breaking up the flesh that God had joined together. What would happen if you were in a car accident and your body was severed in two? You would die! Likewise, divorce is like death. Therefore, a husband and a wife should never divorce.
But what if both of you were not Christians when you got married, and then one of you became a Christian? The Corinthians were wondering this. Should you separate since potential problems might arise? Should you divorce since the Bible teaches that believers should not be yoked to unbelievers (2 Cor 6:14)? Paul answers them by saying in verses 12-13says, if you have an unbelieving spouse and if the spouse is willing to live with you, then you should not divorce. Our Christian influence upon our unbelieving spouse is so important, for it might lead them to Christ. By divorcing we would only devastate them and potentially drive the unbelieving spouse away from God forever.
What are the exception to divorce? In Matthew 5:32, Jesus states that the only reason for divorce is marital unfaithfulness. If a husband or a wife cheats, then divorce is acceptable. Even so, according to verse 11, we should still do our best to work it out, if at all possible. Another reason for divorce seems to be if an unbelieving spouse wants to leave(15). We are not obligated to remain married underneath such circumstances. Verse 15b says, “God has called us to live in peace.” It can be potentially dangerous for a believing spouse to live with an unbelieving spouse, especially if they want to leave. We must not think that by staying with them, we might have a chance to save them. If they’re not willing to stay, Paul says we should allow them to leave.
Another reason for not remaining married is if one of the spouses dies. Paul says in verse 39 that upon death, we are no longer bound to each other. He does say though, if a wife’s husband dies, she would be happier if she remained single. But evidently for a husband, he would be happier if he remarried. The point is, marriage is a gift from God that should never be broken, except for marital unfaithfulness, an unbelieving spouse who wants to leave, or death.
What about single people? Is singleness a gift from God? In verses 7-8, Paul tells the Corinthians that it’s good to remain single as he was. Being single is as much as a gift as being married. If God has given you the gift of self-control, then you should use that gift for God’s glory. If he has called you to serve him rather than to marry, then do so with all your hearts (32-35). What about those who are engaged or those who are getting older and older in life? Should they marry? Paul says that if you’re engaged to be married and if you can’t control your desires, then you should marry (36-38).
Both marriage and singleness are gifts from God. One is not better than the other. One is not more spiritual than the other. God has blessed and called each of us to marriage or singleness (17-29a, 20-22). So we should remain in the situation that God has called us to be in. Verses 26-27 says, “Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.” Our country is in presently in a crisis. Divorce, adultery, premarital sex, and sexual sin are happening all over the place. Lives our being damaged by this. I know a man who was inches away from taken his life because his wife left him. Divorce is ruining children. Young girls, very young girls are becoming pregnant. Boys are completely messing up their lives. We Christians were called by God to show the blessings of marriage and singleness. But unfortunately, we’re no better than anyone else. Divorce rate among Christians is rising, even among pastors. More and more Christians are starting to support gay marriages. And even pornography in the church is at an all time high. God has not called us to live like this. He has called us to live in purity and to set the example for everyone else. That’s why Paul says, “Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.”
Remember the Price That was Paid For Your Purity (19b, 21-24, 29-35)
Verse 19b says, “Keeping God’s commands is what counts.” God’s commands are not meant to control us or to stop us from having any fun. Rather, they are meant for our happiness. God is our Creator. He knows what we need to remain pure and to be happy. As a computer programmer, I know what kind of data my programs need in order to work well. And I have specifically coded some commands into them to stop bad data from coming in. Likewise, God knows what kind of commands we need in order to stop bad data from coming into us. But still bad data comes in. Temptation to sin happens. And more often times than not, we give into this temptation. So what are we to do?
Verse 23 says, “You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.” Have you ever had a dream where you tried to yell but couldn’t, or tried to run but wasn’t able to? Sexual immorality is just like that. It’s like a strong chain that holds us down. We try to break free, yell, and run from it, but we can’t. But then after our dream is over, we wake up and the thing that was holding us down is no longer there. In the same way, God has woke us up and has set us free from the bondage of our sins. But the way to our freedom was not free. A price had to be paid. The price: Someone without sin had to be chained in our place. Someone without sin had to be punished and killed in our place. And amazingly, the very one who had to punish became our punishment. God, manifesting himself in the Son, became flesh. God’s son, Jesus Christ came to this world and purchased our freedom by taking the chains off of us and putting them on himself. Jesus was mocked, beaten, tried, and flogged. He took the punishment that was meant for us. He died on the cross, the death that we should have died. He was buried where we should have been buried. But then he woke up! God raised him from the dead! Because Jesus Christ paid the price for our sins, we have also been awaken and have been set free. We were bought at a price. Jesus freed us from our sins of immorality. Jesus freed us from the sins of adultery and divorce. Because of Jesus, we are no longer slaves to the things of men. We have been set free! Again Paul says in verse 19b, “You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.”
Because Jesus Christ purchased our freedom, we now belong to him (21-22). So how are we now to live? Verses 29-31 say, “From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world ,as if not engrossed by them.” Paul is not saying that you now need to completely ignore your wife and be a miserable wreck. It’s unfortunate that some take this verse to heart, whether intentionally or unintentionally. John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist church didn’t mean to take this verse so seriously. However, because he was constantly gone from home in order to serve the Lord, his wife got tired and eventually left him. What Paul is saying is, now that we belong to him, we no longer need the things of this world to make us happy. Everything we have is secondary compared to the love and joy that we now have in God. Why is this? It’s because the things of this world are temporal. Ultimately, they cannot satisfy us. God however is eternal. The things we have now, including marriage and singleness will not last. In heaven, Jesus tells us that there will be neither marriage nor anyone being given in marriage (Mt 22:30). In the book of Revelation, we learn that there will be no more morning, death, or pain (Rev 21:4). In the end, God, who is our Creator, is the only one who can completely satisfy all our desires and needs. Therefore God should always be at the center of our hearts, and marriage and singleness should only be secondary things compare to him.
Not long after my father graduated from college, he and my mom married. Because they dated in high school, many assumed they would get married, and so they did. Unfortunately their marriage was not without problems. Due to their financial situation, my father had to work 2 jobs. One of his jobs required him to travel a lot, and the other job took up his nights. As a result, I never remember seeing him when I was growing up. Not only that, his being away so much bothered my mom to a point where they would both argue. I remember sitting on the stairs with my sisters, scared and huddled in their arms as we heard them fight each night. Finally, at the age of 7, my parents divorced. Not long after that, my mom remarried another man. But this didn’t make things any better. Although he was home, he was never really a father to me nor to my sisters. As I got older, the thought of marriage scared me. I was afraid that I couldn’t live up to my future wife’s standards and so she would divorce me. But in 1996, God blessed me to marry a beautiful woman of God. Last week, we celebrated our 14th year anniversary. My marriage is nothing what I thought it would be. I have been blessed with a believing wife and with 4 godly children. I can contest that marriage is indeed a blessing from God. I can also contest that marriage is not the way to ultimate satisfaction. God is the only who can completely satisfy all of our desires and needs. As Christians we need to seek satisfaction only in our husbands and wives, We need to remain as God called us: Married or single, and we need to remember the price that was paid for our purity. When we do, then we can find that both marriage and singleness are gifts from God.
